


We Only Need Each Other

by DustyAttic



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-21 00:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9523637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustyAttic/pseuds/DustyAttic
Summary: They came together like waves crashing over one another in a storm: unconscious, involuntary, and violent. Five girls, beautiful, dazzling girls made of raspberry creme and hard liquor and sparklers on New Year's Eve, ramming into each other out of the simple need to have somebody, anybody, to sit next to at lunch and call when things started to shatter.OROur girls:) how they came together, where they are now.





	1. Chapter 1

First Term, First Year:  
They came together like waves crashing over one another in a storm: unconscious, involuntary, and violent. Five girls, beautiful, dazzling girls made of raspberry creme and hard liquor and sparklers on New Year's Eve, ramming into each other out of the simple need to have somebody, anybody, to sit next to at lunch and call when things started to shatter. 

Eva needed friends that weren't the blond haired fluff ball who once started crying after a call from his mother and shoved her away and started to get colder as he got older and the boyfriend with too-thick eyebrows that made her question everything because she loved him but trust and love are separate. She needed friends she could tell anything to, friends who could make her feel like she had before Ingrid shot daggers into her heart and called her a slut (she probably deserved it, right?) 

"Girls who call other girls sluts are 90% more likely to get chlamydia."   
Noora needed friends because Madrid, her lovely Madrid, was in the past now and she had to move forward, forward, forward. Always forward, always working for something. (Apply red lipstick and smile with it, and with silver-blue eyes, and stick up for others and be kind. Move forward.) Noora needed somebody, and Eva looked lost and lonely and they had Spanish together and she'd just been called a slut. Of course, the chlamydia statistic wasn't real, but it made Eva smile. But then Noora wandered away because she couldn't think of anything else to say and she didn't feel like she had to, so Eva went to the bathroom to try and make herself look less slutty. 

Vilde needed friends because Pepsi Max rolled their eyes- "Holy fuck, you're crazy!"- at her and made her cry in the bathroom when she was supposed to be smiling. She needed friends because (she wasn't good enough for Pepsi Max) she wasn't in Pepsi Max anymore. ("She snapped.") Vilde needed friends because when Eva, kind hearted Eva, asked if she could get somebody to dry her tears, she could think only of Chris, and one friend becomes lonely. Eva left and Vilde dabbed at her eyes and stared in the mirror and thought of the fact that of course the beautiful girls in Pepsi Max didn't want her anymore because who could want somebody that bloated? And ugly? And stupid, fucking stupid, and-

Chris needed friends because when she walked into the bathroom and found Vilde sobbing, she decided not to be in Pepsi Max anymore, either. Any group that made cherry-soda-smile Vilde cry like this certainly didn't deserve either of them. Chris needed friends because she'd only ever had Vilde, and Vilde was awesome but sometimes the mild ignorance and endless cheerfulness left Chris craving a different type of person. She loved Vilde but another personality would be nice for both of them. And Chris knew that Vilde's cheerfulness was just paint over a brick wall of insecurities, and, in moments like this, the paint chipped. When the wall started to crumble, as Chris suspected it would, she knew she'd need help picking up the pieces. So she started to look for people.

Sana needed friends because she'd been smudging her eyeliner under her eyes to scare people off for far too long. She was tired of being scary (she had the hijab, why not just smudge the eyeliner and go all the way?) and tired of being alone. She didn't know how to be soft, how to get rid of the thorns she'd grown over the years, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. She loved herself, loved who she was and what she believed in and the way she looked, but she figured it was time to start loving others, too. And so, when Chris said she was starting a Russ bus with some friends, Sana agreed. 

Their first meeting was strange. Sana already didn't like their doe-eyed leader who'd assumed that, because of her religion, she couldn't participate in Russ. Chris didn't like that different parts of her world weren't fitting. Vilde didn't like that Noora and Eva already seemed so cozy or that Sana was taking over. Noora didn't like that Sana told Eva to break up with her boyfriend and them to use their bodies for profit (or that she made her feel stupid.) Eva didn't like that she was here with four girls she barely knew and not with Ingrid and Sara- actually, she was with Ingrid and Sara's rejects. (She was Ingrid and Sara's biggest reject.) Sana pushed her thorns out further because if they couldn't handle it then they might as well realize now. Chris's heart pounded at the lack of getting along. Vilde made herself throw up after she got home because Noora was so skinny and pretty. 

As the year went on, however, their crashing waves began to settle into a gentle push and pull. When Sana spat water into Ingrid's face, the others were shocked. They called her crazy. But Sana was pleased because as soon as the shots at Vilde had left Ingrid's tongue a fiery sort of protection had flared up in her. It was something she hasn't felt before. 

William became a common name amongst the five, Vilde always raving about William, William, William. Eva didn't think much of it, she was preoccupied with Jonas and Iben and Penetrator Chris and all her stupid, stupid decisions. Noora pulled her into her shoulder and whispered that it would be okay when Eva came into school and less than half the yard would meet her eye. Vilde (William, William, William) told her the rumors but she didn't mean any harm. Noora told her they weren't true. 

Noora told Vilde her salad was sorted enough. Noora recognized what was happening, even when nobody else did. 

Chris was happy. Noora and Eva and Sana made her happy. And Chris assumed Vilde was happy, too, but really Vilde had just gotten better at painting. 

All of them had pushed William into the corners of their minds, just another nobody that Vilde chartered incessantly about. Until, that is, the blonde decided to regain her integrity.  
"If you think I look at you as a trophy, you're wrong," said the legend to Vilde as she looked at him with softening eyes. But, then, "Because you're not good enough." 

Chris felt herself die a little for Vilde because she knew that those words would be like a fucking canon hitting the wall. Sana felt the same protectiveness spike inside her, but more than before (how DARE he?!) and Eva felt sick because she knew all about heartbreak. But Noora acted first.   
"What a cool guy you are.... did Mommy never compliment your drawings?.... Whatever it is, you need to get over it and start behaving like a human being. Stop walking around like a fucking cliche." 

They all saw the hurt and humiliation in William's face, and they walked away as a unit, carrying Noora on their shoulders while they searched for their lovely, injured princess. But Vilde only smiled. ("I'm fine!")

And then Eva's world fell apart just a little bit more, and Vilde's sunny blue eyes got cloudy as she told the others what Eva had done to Ingrid. (Betraying backstabbing BITCH!) Noora and Sana and Chris didn't care. They only gathered Eva up and told her they loved her. But Vilde left, said she rejoined Pepsi Max, but she hadn't, she had just left. And she was going further. She was spinning away, away, away. 

Sana never expected to stick her fingers down Vilde's throat, but, somehow, here she was. And she certainly never expected Vilde to vomit right into her chest, spitting out brown and reeking of vodka, but, again, here she was. Vilde needed to get whatever had caused her to stumble over to Iben's party and collapse out of her. And Sana didn't regret it. Because Vilde, although she had begun to spin away, deserved Sana's love. And Sana would give it. She loved Vilde, and Chris, and Eva and Noora. And herself. Of course. 

"I think I killed William's baby tonight." 

But she hadn't. There hadn't been a baby. ("We're not pregnant!") Vilde frowned. Why was she bloated? ("Do you eat a lot?" "Nei!!") That day she had only had gum and a coke lite. Air in her intestines.   
The girls were relieved. Eva and Chris and Sana, they were happy for their bus boss. But Noora....   
"Vilde, I see what you're doing and you have to stop.... you are super pretty."  
"But not good enough."


	2. Chapter 2

Second Term, First Year:  
Over time, Vilde's William became Noora's William. Only it was real. The girls knew it, but they pretended, for Noora's sake, that they didn't. Vilde took it well. (Sana would take Vilde to war.) But that wasn't as important as the other things. 

Eva felt the loss of the blond haired fluff and the eyebrow boy like she had never felt anything. She smiled through it. But the hurt was there, the betrayal, the grief. She missed them. She loved her girls but god, she fucking missed her boys. So she drank and drank and drank until she forgot about it and she let anyone who wanted touch her so she could trick herself into feeling loved. 

Noora was falling deeper and deeper in love with William. And she hated it because she thought he was a bad person. But she also didn't hate it because loved him. All the spinning spinning spinning in her head made her dizzy. 

Chris was lonely. Pretty Isak Yaki was gay according to the spirits, but she didn't have any other vibes. 

And Vilde was doing 100 sit-ups a day but not eating (anything) eggs or potatoes because they were bad for her. ("Vilde, your body needs potatoes." "How do you know so much about food?")

"I was raped by William's brother." 

That wasn't true, either. But child pornography and threats; those things were real. And those made Noora cry into Eva's shoulders that she felt like she was dying.   
William was falling away from her and she couldn't breathe. ("I'm like insanely in love with him.") 

Summer came with sunshine and happiness. For some.   
Noora and William found each other again. Vilde ate the lunches Noora brought for her, and, on bad days, Vilde bought lunch for Noora. ("Do you know what's so good about potatoes, Noora?") Speaking of finding, Chris found Kasper. And they rode into hoverboard heaven. And Noora and William rode to London. 

And they left Eva and Sana and Vilde behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Summer, First Year:  
It's not that Chris was really gone. But she was always lugging Kasper behind her. No more long talks about everything and anything. Not with him there. 

So Sana, Vilde, and Eva sat on benches at the park and sighed small nothings to each other before the beginning of second year. Where Noora had been Vilde's unbrushed hair went. Noora had brought Vilde lunch so now nobody brought her lunch. Vilde was shrinking. She was shrinking far too fast. They were losing her. 

Eva. Eva was falling, too. Noora had been her rock. Her first friend after Ingrid. Chris had been her relief. Always there to make her smile. And now Eva was just stumbling through life in the hangover of her happiness and all the drinks she pounded to stop thinking so much. 

But it was Sana who said it first. It was pitch black nighttime, they were all pretending to sleep.   
"I miss Chris. And Noora."  
Vilde rubbed her fading blue eyes. Eva sighed. "Me too."  
"I miss feeling all warm and cozy," Vilde whispered.   
Sana sighed, now. "Me too."  
"Maybe," Vilde continued, "We could start a kosegroup."  
"A what?"  
"A revenue group at school... to spread love and good feelings."   
"You're killing yourself, Vilde."   
Eva said the words with such a fragile ferocity that both the girls around her jumped.  
"What?" the blonde squeaked.   
"It breaks my heart that you want to spread good feelings to others and yet you're killing yourself from the inside out. You deserve love, too, you know. We love you. Now you need to love you."  
There was a long silence. And, then, "I don't know how." 

And that's how Eva, Sana and Vilde began to eat lunch together every summer day. Breakfast and dinner too, if they could. The former two always waiting patiently for the latter to finish her meal, encouraging but not pressuring, letting her cry if she needed to. When it all got too much.   
And that's how they got to making the kosegroup. When second year started, they smiled and asked for members and held each other up. As they always had.


	4. Chapter 4

First Term, Second Year:   
Eva watched the blond fluff Isak wander into the first kosegroup meeting, eyes unfocused and shadowed, hair messy. He looked so different, so much older. She wanted to run to him and cuddle him into her arms because she knew how much he hurt but she had lost that privilege when she lost him. Vilde started the meeting with a speech. "I'm a little nervous," she admitted, and Eva wrapped her arm around her waist, clasping Sana'a hand at the small of Vilde's back.   
Eva said nothing to Isak after the meeting. Instead, she, Sana, and Vilde went to back to hers for a sleepover. At ten thirty, there was a knock on the door. "Hei!" Chris exclaimed when Eva opened it.   
Kasper was not there. "I thought... well, I missed you guys. A lot." 

And then Vilde's tears, so long held back, spilled over as she choked, "I missed you, too!"   
"Aw, little duckling! Don't cry!" Chris tutted, holding her cherry-soda-smile Vilde to her chest. Kasper still hung around sometimes, but Chris stayed almost always. 

Vilde was getting a shape again. During summer she had been nothing but too-big sweatshirts and leggings, messy hair and chapped lips, sometimes a pink bow that was reminiscent of her old self. Now she wore skirts and dresses again, shirts that hugged her body and made her shine. She made herself throw up a month into school and Eva consoled her for hours before she was okay again. "You're healing." 

Chris was so gloriously glad to have her friends back. Although summer with Kasper had been lovely, her stomach hurt when she thought of everything she was missing. It was just that... every time and said she was going to the girls, Kasper responded with a gentle, "Sure, let's go." And Chris knew how he made them feel less safe than when they were just with each other. So she stopped going to them.   
But the night of the kosegroup meeting, when Vilde had stuttered through her speech and Eva and Sana had kept her grounded with their tiny touches, Chris felt like crying. "Kasper, you're great, but sometimes I need to hang out with the girls alone!"   
Now it was all good again. Chris was home.   
Sana was happy, too. She was happy that sweet Vilde was eating and that Chris was back and that strange Isak Valtersen was her biology partner because he was bringing up her grade. She was happy that Eva was smiling again. She was happy because she loved herself and she loved those around her and those around her were happy. 

They all facetimed Noora together every Friday and texted her on their group chat everyday. Eva called her every night and she and Vilde told each other about every meal they had. Chris sent her hourly memes and Sana did all of the above in moderation.   
But then they didn't have to anymore. Because Noora came back. ("If he really loves me, he'll come after me.")  
They rejoiced like nobody had ever before. Love took on a new meaning when Eva, in the midst of the concert, looked down at her phone. "It's from Isak," she muttered. And then. "It's Noora!! Noora's back! She's at the flat!"  
They all cried when they got there, all but Sana, who gave Noora her biggest dimpled smile and a whispered, "I'm so happy you're here."  
They slept at Eva's- there was nowhere for Noora to sleep at the flat- and they all piled into the bed as they had once before ("I think I killed William's baby tonight,") and talked until their throats hurt ("We missed you so much. We love you so much.")   
At another one of their sleepovers, later on, the girls gossiped. "Did you hear Isak and Mahdi got in a fight? After Emma's party."  
"No, what about?" Eva asked. Her voice took on a sharpness. She had gotten over Jonas. But Isak still tugged at her heartstrings in the way he always had.   
"Well, apparently Isak's gay and Mahdi is Muslim, so..." Vilde trailed. She made eye contact with Sana. "But- I think that's just a rumor. And even if it's not, being Muslim does not make you homophobic. That's a choice."   
Sana tilted her head with a grin, and Vilde let the smallest smile peak over her face, because for once she felt like she'd said something right.  
"Mahdi's not even Muslim," Chris interjected. "He's in my English class and he's got dank memes and he's atheist."   
"And is Isak gay?" Vilde asked.   
"Umm..." Noora trailed. ("I don't think it's you he's into.")   
"Holy fuck!" Exclaimed Chris. "The ouija board was right!"  
"Well even if he is, Emma shouldn't be outing him. Or making Mahdi out as a homophobe," Sana tisked.   
Fall break passed. The girls spent it in Chris's Grama's cabin. Eva thought back to last year's fall break. As she gently got the tangles out of Vilde's hair, this seemed better.   
"I think I have a crush on Isak and Jonas's friend."   
"Mahdi?"  
"No, the other one. Magnus."  
"The blond with acne?"   
A sigh. "Yeah."   
"Vilde, that's really great. I'm sure he'd go out with you," Noora squeezed her hand. Crushes that you told others about meant you felt like somebody might feel the same in return. In some way or place or time. It meant you felt like somebody loving you was a possibility.   
Vilde hadn't felt that way in a long, long time. ("You're not good enough.")   
Eva smiled down at Vilde and Chris punched her shoulder playfully. "He'd be lucky to have you," Sana said, "but he better not mess with our bus boss."   
Vilde glowed.   
When Christmas finally hit, the girls were in a golden happiness. Eva invited Penetrator Chris to the kosegroup party with the expectation that he'd turn her down. Sure they hooked up at parties but he hooked up with everyone. He wouldn't come to a dorky kosegroup gathering just for her. He didn't feel the flutters for her that she felt for him.   
But then he did come. And that was that. No drama. No declarations of love. He was there. And that was enough.   
Isak found her later. Apologized in a way that made her want to cry because she knew he was hurting but she didn't know how to help him and saying sorry was unnecessary since he had nothing to be sorry about. She complimented his boyfriend ("You better watch out. I might steal him.") She wanted to tell him everything that had happened in the last year since they'd spoken but instead she listened when he said "Life is now," and chose to focus on neither the past nor the future. 

Chris pecked Kasper's cheek as she said goodbye for the night. He gave her a full faced smile. 

Vilde found that Magnus tasted better than she expected and when he told her she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, there was so much sincerity in his eyes that she believed that he   
believed it. 

Sana slept at Noora's because her parents wanted her to spend the night out, they were having friends over. The two talked not too late, only until midnight or one, before falling asleep on the couches of the flat. 

When New Year's Eve came, they had very few resolutions. They opted out of the big school parties and instead had a sleepover with just the five of them, where they lit sparklers and ran along the beach, the calm waves tickling their toes as they lit up each other's faces and the sky above.


End file.
